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Sunday, 28 April 2013 @ 04:34  0 stares
I watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy again tonight. I forgot Martin was in it. I knew I had seen him from somewhere before Sherlock. Ah, he was amazing as always. The movie always gives the strangest feeling while I'm watching it, a feeling of pure wonder and amusement mixed with a sort of wistfulness. Underlying everything, it really makes you think, we won't ever know what the ultimate question is or the what everything means.
I liked that quote.. I much rather be happy than right.
I miss the book. I hope to track it down and its sequel as well as The Little Prince sometime this year. Douglas Adams is a genius.
eAeon blows me away
Tuesday, 23 April 2013 @ 04:09  0 stares
I wish I had a bulletproof soul.
It's the smallest things that slice and tear at your heart. Why do you always treat me like I can't do anything right? Why? Not smart enough, not hardworking enough, not organised enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not sweet enough, not considerate enough, not confident enough....
Just kill me and get another fucking daughter already.
Fuck this. I want to drop out of school and disappear. I wish she didn't find me that day. Maybe I would have finally gotten rid of myself then.
Floating, detached, the voices, the people and their stupid fucking insignificant problems and follies, I just want to block it out.  I don't feel like I belong here at all. Take me somewhere far far away, somewhere beautiful and exciting. But that will never happen. It's why I wish so much.... but I don't have what it takes. I don't want this life I can see, predict so perfectly, another that is similar to those around me.
Please.

Drug
Monday, 15 April 2013 @ 02:22  0 stares
Can't decide which version I like better... The original or eAeon's version. The melody is more haunting in eAeon's version and his voice is beautiful but the guitars and the deep deep voices of the original is lovely too. I think I'm leaning to eAeon though because I'm a sucker for that trance-inducing feel it has, like some of Nell's songs.
I miss her
@ 01:45  0 stares
"I am a dumb piece of meat 

and i rot everyday

my flesh gives a rotting smell

and people say it’s the smell of life

and they come to me

and watch me rot

and get happy and upset and

annoyed and disgusted and maybe

sometimes feel compassion

but they don’t realize 
they are rotting

too."
- Daul Kim 
pain
Tuesday, 9 April 2013 @ 05:19  0 stares
I know you are definitely the most interesting but fucked up person I've met and probably ever will meet.
I always have this strange ache in my heart after talking to you.
You are so sad and you are very lonely. You want people. People who really care. But you no longer believe they exist. Apart from storybooks and fairytales, does anyone in this world still possess the courage to have that kind unconditional love? "Agape." People say mothers do. Do they? I suppose I will find out one day.
..
Friday, 5 April 2013 @ 19:00  0 stares
I just wanted to stay asleep and warm.
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