no one is here no is ever here no wonder it is just so cold and empty
no one wants to be here
they'd all rather be somewhere else
be with someone else
loving and be loved
and i am cold
so cold
so tired
There are expectations of me
But I'm getting too tired to live up to them
I want to be reborn
I don't want to be here anymore
I don't want to be me
Stuck in this cycle
Of never ending hope and disappointment
But that's life isn't it?
I'm so fucking sick of giving and giving and letting other people have the best end of the fucking deal when all I get is nothing. When all I get is being fucking yelled at for it, for not doing well enough, to watch all my freinds be together and have a good time and be the only left out.
What do you want me to do? I'm giving it my fucking all, there's nothing left to give.
fool.
Friday, 9 August 2013 @ 04:30  0 stares
I'm a fool.
But I'll give and give 
and try and try 
until there's nothing left
Will happiness be achieved this way?
It's been too long 
Since I've felt real fire blazing
In my heart
Mind
Breath
Veins
Soul
It's time to pretend
Radiate what love
I can dredge up from this caged heart
Forget about my own rain
Spread out these
Curling tendrils of warmth
I didn't know I still had
Anything
To make them smile
And fool myself
Anything
To be their sun
When they desperately need some sunshine
the deep.
Wednesday, 7 August 2013 @ 03:59  0 stares
From the depths of a deep still sea
it floats to the surface
and now and then
ripples form
and waves rise and fall
with a bittersweet sadness
that washes over me
like a cool shower of rain
penetrating my bones
sending shivers down my back
I struggle to breathe
It bobs and stirs
nudged by my feeble mind
until I hastily push it back down again
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